Don't Set Up Camp in the Valley of Disappointment
@alexgorey
I set myself a running challenge: To run every day for 100 days. The minimum I must run each day is 3 kilometres, that’s it, no other requirements. In my mind it didn’t seem like a big deal, although at Day 4 I suddenly saw the next 96 days looming ahead of me like a tidal wave of effort.
I’m doing it because I wanted to commit to something I knew I would find hard, and not particularly enjoyable a lot of the time. I wanted to see what comes up for me and how I navigate whatever bubbles to the surface.
Today is Day 19. It’s the first day I have enjoyed the whole run from start to finish. The past 18 have quite honestly, been shit.
On Day 15 I went for a run with my boyfriend (who hadn’t run in a couple of weeks) and a mate who barely ever goes for a jog, and the two of them galloped off ahead of me up the hills like a couple of cavorting gazelles. I felt like a lumbering sloth trailing behind them.
On Day 16 I was ready to give up, or at least add in some ‘rest days’ or something to ease the tightness in my ankles, but mainly in my mind.
And then one of my beautiful, insightful, kind students @thewellbeingjunkie gave me some solicited suggestions about training, after I told her about hitting the proverbial wall. Not only is Philly incredibly knowledgeable about nutrition and exercise but she’s also an athlete, i.e someone who understands commitment.
“Have you heard about the Valley of Disappointment” she said. “No,” I replied, “but I think I’m there. I really thought I’d be fitter by now.”
We often expect progress to be linear. At the very least, we hope it will come quickly. In reality, the results of our efforts are often delayed. It is not until months or years later that we realize the true value of the previous work we have done. This can result in a “valley of disappointment” where people feel discouraged after putting in weeks or months of hard work without experiencing any results. However, this work was not wasted. It was simply being stored. It is not until much later that the full value of previous efforts is revealed.
- James Clear, Atomic Habits
My conversation with Philly highlighted a few things to me:
I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself
I’m being impatient
I’m not as fit as I thought (imagined, hoped) I was
I’m getting disillusioned because I’m not miraculously ready to run a marathon already
It also reminded me that this running situation is just like I teach my meditation students and those who are resetting their relationship with alcohol — it’s what we do in the hard parts, the times that we want to stop, that matter most of all.
2 days ago I genuinely wanted to stop. Telling myself it was fine, that I’d given it my best, what a stoopid thing to commit to. Sigh…”
But I kept going, crafting my I-give-up post as I stumbled along, the internal whinging incessant.
It’s the keeping going that is everything. That’s the part that no one can teach us.
The past two days I’ve done off road, trail runs as I’m hosting a Meditation Immersion in the Lewis Pass at Maruia River Retreat. Yesterday was rough, the hills felt like I was running at altitude, but then I soaked my ankles in the icy river and something shifted.
And today, miraculously, I cavorted (mostly) up the hills like a gazelle, but more importantly my body and mind felt good for the whole run. No mental whining, no thoughts of giving up. I felt like I’d popped out the other side, perhaps I’ve climbed out of The Valley.
I’m pretty sure the Valley is far more a mental thing, than a physical thing alhough the icy river soak and massage I had last night might have helped a little too.
That being said, I know it will probably happen again. I just have to remember that the Valley of Disappointment is just a place that I pass through, I don’t make it my permanent address.
Cxx
(I’m posting updates on my 100 days of running on my IG @clairerobbie and any words of support and encouragement or insight are welcome!
Other suggestions by Philly were:
Run on different terrain
Get a bit more intentional with your running schedule and plan when you’re going to run
Make sure you warm up and cool down
Have a gentle run day that’s almost like a rest day
Run at different tempos
Have a test running course that I use to see if I’m getting fitter
Many of the above we’re also suggested to my by my personal trainer boyfriend, who has also been incredibly supportive in this funny little challenge I’ve set myself. He’s also been reminding me the importance of foam rolling, recovery and massage.
Some interesting reads on the VOD.