Getting Out of My Own Way
I mentioned in a recent Insight Journal how being self-employed has been the greatest catalyst to my evolution and growth beyond anything else.
It has.
Because day after day for over 11 years now, I’ve had to get out of my own way, in some way. I’ve had to become aware of limiting beliefs, embrace uncertainty and just keep moving forward even though at times I’ve been terrified. It’s a strong word but when you’re a single mama and not sure if you’re being irresponsible for following your dreams, then at times, it’s been terrifying. And equal parts the very best thing ever.
There’s a big list of things you have to do when you’re the motor of your own dinghy, some of them are:
Letting go of any ideas of normal (there aren’t. And quite often the ones that are, are repressive, restricting and unhealthy)
Move through shame and fear all. the. time (as you are constantly having to ‘put yourself out there and things often don’t go as you planned or expected)
Stop listening to anyone who isn’t on a similar path, or has given up on their dreams
Embrace financial instability
Commit to your own self-imposed deadlines
Gauge success in ways that aren’t material - particularly in numbers or financial reward
Drop the stories about age, resources, time, talent
Stop comparing, and start creating (I don’t believe in market research or nosy-ing around to see what others are doing)
My work fundamentally is about sharing the things that have helped me navigate this thing called life with a little more ease, and a lot more bravery, joy and adventure. I share practices that I have committed to every-single-day for a long time. It’s crucial that the things I teach and share are things that I believe in, that I DO and will do for a long, long time. From this foundation of deep belief comes a Faith in the process that has become the wellspring of all that I create.
If you aren’t practicing what you’re preaching, eventually you will run out of steam.
It also means that I have practices I can call upon when the going gets tough, and a trust that whatever bumps in the road appear they are valuable learning opportunities. Nothing is a problem.
Self-employment has many, many bumps in the road and detours. Most of the time you’re on your own on a path, one that most definitely doesn’t have a road map let alone a guide book, my Faith becomes those things. You also have to be willing to do it all (the boring parts, the hard parts, the seemingly insignificant parts, the parts that are quiet, unglamorous and behind the scenes) and you have to learn, learn, learn learn. Not only am I a teacher but a perpetual student, an accountant, marketer, event coordinator, writer, hype woman to myself, web developer, graphic designer, interior designer, photographer, location scout, retreat organiser and a whole lot more. Unless you have a big old cash-flow from the get go, you HAVE TO learn to do all this yourself and I’ve found it not only satisfying but it means I have a deep understanding of how everything works together. In the long term it also makes delegating all that easier. It’s only very recently that I’ve been able to afford to pay people to help me.
Which brings me to my last point. I haven’t had a financial safety net nor have I had a plan B. I’ve had to keep going because I don’t want to do anything else. To say I love what I do is an understatement. What I do feels like the most natural thing in the world to me - the creation, being of service and in community with all the people I come across on this path.
I’m in the process of creating a 2-day workshop about all of this. It’s designed for wellness entrepreneurs (for want of a better description), teachers, therapists, fitness professionals, coaches — those who have gifts to share and a deep desire to serve but also feel a bit stuck and lonely along the way. It’s a workshop designed to get really intentional with what we do, and create accountability and community. I’ll be launching it in a few days. If you’d like to find out more, get in touch.
Finally, if you are out there, forging ahead in a way that not many people are. You’re not alone, there are lots of people you can talk to who are in a similar dingyi and would love to help. I’m a firm believer in ‘ask and you shall receive’ so tonight, in a quiet moment by yourself say a little prayer for guidance and support, and I bet the right person/situation/moment appears very, very soon.