Life is an adventure, with some gnarly valleys and incredible peaks. These days I live very differently to the existence I felt trapped in for many years. It’s a messy, mundane, yet rich and exciting life. The best parts are the people I get to work with and also call my community. Most of all, I know what living on purpose feels like.
I do a few things. I run the meditation centre I founded The School of Modern Meditation. I work with people who want to leave alcohol behind via a six-month program I have developed called the Alcohol Reset Pathway, I teach people to meditate and I mentor yoga and meditation teachers who need support stepping into their purpose more deeply. I mostly work 1:1 with people these days as I feel getting to know human-beings at this level is where I can really tap into the places they are stuck and help them let the light in.
A couple of decades ago I existed in the world in a very different way. My life was a series of reactions and responses, coping mechanisms and patterns that were not just unhealthy but also dangerous. My mind wasn’t a kind place, and my relationship to myself was one of judgement and perpetual not-enough-ness. The trajectory of living the way I was, wasn’t sustainable and it reached a critical point.
Through processes of unlearning and discarding perceptions and beliefs that weren’t mine, I started walking a path that has led me to some beautiful places. One step at a time I made different choices, asked myself important questions and slowly discarded the habits, behaviours and beliefs that were keeping me stuck and small. Life expanded, I evolved and I also realised the truth in the saying— “If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.”
The Path
I now call this path, The Light Heart Path. Each day we live is made up of a series of pick-a-path moments. Each choice that we made has a trickle out (karmic) effect on our lives and the lives of those we come in contact with. In my experience, the paths that are the most habitual or automatic led me to some dark and destructive places, as did the path of least resistance.“Old ways won't open new doors”, so The Path is the way of authenticity, of curiosity, creativity, expansiveness, integrity and alignment but most of all health and happiness.
The Path or the choices that make up The Path may not be easy at times, but in the long run the accumulation of the choices that align with who we are on a soul-level, result in a life that is truly our own.
On this path, we may take missteps, we might stumble or need to rest, we might lose our way. These moments are Detours - important data collection points where we get to reflect, refine and reset our compass. This very important part of The Path is where we learn and take radical responsibility for ourselves and our decisions.
Our compass on The Path is individual. It is made up of your own dreams, visions, and the values you will need to hold for these to become your reality. We hold these visions in our minds and then each day take the tiny actions and steps required to move in the direction of our dreams.
What I teach these days, are tools and practices that make each step a little lighter.
Meditation
I stumbled into meditation by accident. The story of how I fumbled and crashed into this world has been told many times in my course and classes. I was fortunate enough to live in Los Angeles at the time and a chain of events led me to finding my way out of the messes I’d made with the guidance of some incredible teachers, and the consistent application of ancient traditions, practices and philosophies that have supported millions over the aeons – yoga, meditation, breathwork and the codes of conduct and ways of being that support these practices.
I studied, I practiced, I dove deep and I started to change. For the first time in my life I understood how our inner landscape creates our outer reality. All of this study and introspection was happening at the same time I was going through some very painful personal growth - a divorce, resetting my relationship with alcohol, a huge career shift all whilst navigating this by myself in L.A. The ancient tools/science/disciplines of yoga and meditation started to reveal confusing parts of myself and at the same time offer ways to integrate and understand these parts. I began to be the designer of my life.
I had found commitment to a daily, physical yoga practice pretty straightforward as the mind/body benefits were instantly palpable – endorphins and the profound peace I would almost always feel after time on my mat, made it easy to stay committed. However, seated, still meditation practice was a bit trickier for me to commit and maintain at first…the benefits less tangible, not as instant and often I would feel frustrated, agitated and overwhelmed - just from sitting doing nothing it seemed. However, I continued to look to the teachers around me, years and years ahead of me on this path and saw how they lived and showed up in the world. I hung in there, something intangible pulled me along, a quiet voice encouraging me to stay the course. Over there years I continued to commit to courses, workshops, to study and learn and of course, practice.
Some of the notable moments in this evolution have been discovering and applying Michael Brown’s work through The Presence Process, studying Vedic Meditation, assisting meditation teacher Light Watkins, a year of intensive study with Dr. Gabor Mate in Compassionate Inquiry and ongoing work with Dr. Graham Mead.
I now train teachers in Awareness Insight Meditation and regular run courses and workshops in the areas of Awareness, Unconscious Conditioning, reforming habits and understanding our coping mechanisms. I’m also the Founder of The School of Modern Meditation — a comprehensive online and in-person meditation school based in Auckland, New Zealand.